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I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
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I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
By David Frizzell
C F
I came crawling home last night like many nights before
C F
I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door
C F G7 C
And she said you're not gonna do this anymore
F
She said I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home
C G7
So you'll feel more at ease here and you won't have to roam
C F
We'll take out the dining room table and put a bar along that wall
C G7 C
And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom down the hall
F
She said just bring your Friday paycheck and I'll cash them all right here
C G7
And I'll keep on tap for all your friends their favorite kinds of beer
C F
And for you I'll always keep in stock those soft aluminum cans
C G7 C
And when you're feeling macho you can crush them like a man
F
She said we'll rip out all the carpet and put sawdust on the floor
C G7
Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels and I won't cook no more
C F
There'll be Monday night football on T.V. above the bar
C G7 C
And a pay phone in the hallway when your friends can't find their car
repeat #2
F
She said you'll get friendly service and for added atmosphere
C G7
I'll slip on something sexy and I'll cut it clear to here
C F
Then you can slap my bottom every time you tell a joke
C G7 C
Just as long as you keep tipping well I'll laugh until you're broke
F
She said instead of family quarrels we'll have a bar-room brawl
C G7
When the Hamms bear says its closing time you won't have far to crawl
C F
And when you run out of money you'll have me to thank
C G7 C
You can sleep it off next morning when I'm putting it in the bank
F
She said I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home
C G7
So you can feel more at ease here and you won't have to roam
C F
When you and your friends get off from work and have a powerful thirst
C G7 C
There won't be any reason why you can't stop off here first
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This is a very amusing song, the lyrics are very specific in what she's telling her drinking husband. It's fun and easy to play, you can quickly learn to play this classic, just print I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home lyrics and chords.